Woo Hoo – it IS Monday – and the release date for Lillian Grant’s latest fabulous crazy-laugh-out-loud novel, Male Review. Believe me, it’s the perfect tonic for a dull Monday 🙂

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Woo Hoo! Not only is my favourite Rock-Star-Writer working on a BRAND NEW SERIES, but she’s self-pubbing and they will be available soon!!!
There IS a God * giant smile *
Please hurry up Olivia, I can’t wait * grin *

Olivia Cunning's Blog

Sole Regret is a fictional five-member metal band originally from Austin, Texas. They’re on tour and being as naughty as they want to be.

I don’t want to give away too much about the characters—I think it’s better that you learn about them as you read their stories—but I will share their inspiration.

In the first story, Try Me, the drummer, Gabe, meets a woman who insists she isn’t attracted to bad boys with tattoos. She quickly changes her mind. And who can blame her? The real hottie who inspired Gabe’s look?

 

Rich Luzzi  (I was drooling over him last week for a reason…)

The inspiration for the rhythm guitarist, Kelly…

Anthony Kiedis (the long-haired version).

The inspiration for the lead guitarist, who I’m calling Adam, but I might change it. In my mind’s eye, Adam looks like

Jacoby Shaddix

The lead singer of Sole Regret, Jacob, is inspired…

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When trains go bad…

There are sometimes good reason to be late home from work. Drinks and post-work celebrations. Sporting events & concerts. Simply catching up with friends. But being late because the trains failed? And not just failed – spectacularly stuffed up would be a better description. It’s enough to drive a girl to blog about it.

So here we are. After a spectacularly busy day, working overtime until almost 6pm was a necessary evil, but I had confidence that the rail network would enable me to make my 1-hour journey home without any major headache. Alas, no. The following is a rough synopsis of my journey home, narrated by my fellow passengers:

18:00 (Automated voice) Welcome to Tranz-metro. Our journey tonight takes us to W, and we should arrive at 18:55. Have a pleasant journey and please travel with us again soon.

18:40

Hello love. The Train Manager has just informed us that they’ve run out of power on the line. I guess someone didn’t pay the electric bill. Anyhow, they’re taking us back to the previous station to wait for a bus.

19:00

Oh look, there’s a bus….. It’s filled up and left. I suggest we stay here until the next bus arrives.

19:10

Bugger. There’s another train coming. I’m going to queue up outside

19:15

You won’t believe this. The passengers on the new train have barged to the front of the queue! It’s like scrambling for lifeboats on the Titanic!

19:20

Hi darling. The second bus has just filled up and left, and we’re still in the queue. Any chance you could come and pick me up?

19:30

Hello love. We’re on the replacement bus now and guess what? I just got a txt from the train network to say the trains are running normally again. Too bloody late.

19:40

I think I just saw a train go past us…

20:00

Hello love, I’m back at the station and will be home soon. BTW, the train has just pulled into the station – the same train I got off an hour ago!!

 *****

When you’re sitting on a crowded replacement bus, in a queue of traffic, receiving a chirpy little text message to say the trains are running normally again is frustrating to say the least. But the evening wasn’t wasted. We passed the time by dreaming up realistic txt messages for the train network. You know, the ones you wished they’d send.

 Your train is running late because the driver couldn’t be arsed

 You were hoping to get home early tonight? Sucker!

 The trains are f*cked. Get a bus instead.

And finally, in the same vein, I stumbled across a list of bona-fide passenger announcements made on the London Underground network. They included such gems as:

1. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.’

2. ‘Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I’ll let you know any further information as soon as I’m given any.’

3. ‘Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a point failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won’t reach our destination.’

4. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let’s take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now…. ‘Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall…..’.’

5. ‘We are now travelling through Baker Street … As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don’t think about things like that’.

6. ‘Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.’

7. During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: ‘Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman… unfortunately, towels are not provided.’

8. ‘Let the passengers off the train FIRST!’ (Pause . ‘Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines; see if I care – I’m going home….’

9. ‘Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open.’ The two are distinct and separate instructions.’

10. ‘Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.’

11. ‘We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.’

12. ‘To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage – what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?’

13. ‘Please move all baggage away from the doors.’ (Pause… ‘Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.’ (Pause…. ‘This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!’

14. ‘May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it’s only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.’

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Why everyone needs a critique partner to love :-)

Why everyone needs a critique partner to love 🙂

My critique partner, the erotic writer Lillian Grant wrote about ME in her post today * blush *

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Jolyn Palliata has exciting news on her blogpage – go check her out 🙂

You haven’t forgotten who she is? The author of my current fave book – Connected – Twist of fate #1 🙂

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Other fantabulous cake-related things…

First up, a link to Marian Keye’s website.

For not only does she give great cake, she’s also one of my favourite Must-Read authors, lifting Chick-Lit to new heights: http://www.mariankeyes.com/Home

Next up, Nigella Lawson.

I love her dabbling approach to cooking, and I understand her addiction to buying cookery books. This recipe sounds so weird – Baked Ham in Coca Cola?!? –  yet tastes divine. Really, you HAVE to try it: http://www.nigella.com/recipes/view/ham-in-coca-cola-171

And finally, Nigel Slater.

I think I have all his books, including his 2 memoirs. In addition to TV shows and writing books, he writes a regular column for the Guardian newspaper. Here’s a link to 5 Warming Breakfasts for Winter: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/19/nigel-slater-breakfast-recipes

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Awesome and quite the funniest thing I’ve read today 🙂 I’m reblogging you 🙂

The Dissemination of Thought

On principle, I was planning on refraining from a Valentine’s Day-themed post: there are enough people flogging the rose-covered dead horse without me clutching at its mane. Unfortunately, my resolve wilted like a cheap petrol station rose, leaving you with the cynically twisted rant you see before you.

Actually, it was more a case of succumbing to peer pressure than an issue of resolve. Chrystalyn, of The Future of Hope fame, challenged me to come up with a list of the most atrocious dates I’ve ever endured. It was harder than I thought. Some horror stories spring freely to mind, while others have been deeply repressed and will require gentle coaxing from a psychiatrist to pry loose.

I’m under no illusion that I’m by any means easy to tolerate, and I don’t purport to be the prized pig of the dating fair, but I really have dated some uniquechallenging

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The Chronicles of a Skinny Jeans-Wearing Toronto girl

We are officially in the month of February and the fact that this is Valentine’s Day month is not lost on me this year. In previous years, Valentine’s Day was just like the Good Friday before Easter. It was a day when I avoided wearing red and waited with bated breath for the resurrection of half price chocolate so as to indulge my fat face in all its forbidden sugary goodness. February 15th was Diabetic Coma day, a far better excuse for “a holiday” in my opinion.

This year though is different. My mother has already informed me that she’s praying for me to find a ‘good man’. This year her good man prayer surpassed my immigration prayer on her prayer list. I wondered at why this phenomenon had come about all of a sudden. And then I knew why: This year, I’m 25.

You see, 25 in regular girl years equals 35 in Indian girl…

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Book Review – Nights of Fire (Laura Leone)

This short novel had me captivated from the start. Set in German-occupied Normandy during the 2^nd World War, just prior to D-Day, the attention to detail was excellent and atmospheric. Paul wakes up in unbelievable pain, to find himself covered in straw being transported in a horse and cart. Gentle fingers touch his forehead and tell him to be quiet and somehow he complies. He hears a smattering of voices – German and French – but stays deadly still. A beautiful blonde – Gabrielle – has rescued him from somewhere and tends his wounds, with love and affection. His memory loss is total.

His fear and anxiety are almost tangible, along with his frustration as his memories continue to elude him. When Gabrielle tells him she’s his wife – and he still has no memory of her – my heart broke for them both. Time is running out for Paul – he’s a necessary part of the French Resistance in the preparation for the Allied invasion – and there is a delicious sense of urgency throughout the story.

Also bundled with this short novel are 4 short stories, 3 of which feature Paul and Gabby. I love their dialogue, their affectionate and passionate relationship and was very sorry to reach the end of the book. Another winner from Laura Leone – 5/5.

 

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Book Review – Hot Night (Shannon McKenna)

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Night-ebook/dp/B001DBEQLE/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322558588&sr=1-1-spell

I stumbled on Shannon McKenna by accident in the library, spotting the Brava symbol on the spine. Kensington Brava books are HOT, and usually a great read, so I dived straight in. It’s Bad Boy Heaven. Zan (Alexander) Duncan has the motorbikes, the leathers, the tattoos and long hair, soulful eyes, a roaring alpha personality – and a dark past that continues to trouble him. He’s everything Abby Maitland wants to avoid. And everything she’s drawn towards.

Her first encounter with Zan is when he rescues her from an overenthusiastic blind date.

She blinked back tears from her eyes, squeezed them shut. Tried again. Yes, the man was still there, crouching on top of Edgar. He was real. Dark hair hung long and loose over a battered black leather jacket. Keen eyes studied her, thoughtful and curious.

He grabbed Edgar’s hair, jerked his head up. “Apologize to her.”

I swooned at this point, right at the start of chapter 2.

After a series of loser boyfriends, Abby draws up her List, a checklist of things to ask potential dates. Unfortunately, Zan fails straight away.

“Don’t tell me,” she said. “Let me guess. You’re a martial arts expert, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Akido is my favourite discipline. I like kung fu too.”

She nodded, stomach clenching. There it was, the first black mark on the no-nos checklist. “Do you have a motorcycle?”

He looked puzzled. “Several of them. Why? Want to go for a ride?” Abby’s heart sank.

“No. One last question. Do you own guns?”

Zan’s face stiffened. “Wait. Are these trick questions?”

”You do, don’t you,” she persisted.

Hot Night gave me the same emotional rollercoaster as Beautiful Disaster. Travis and Zan are both alpha males who aren’t afraid to fight their way out of trouble – and make stupid mistakes. My emotions jerked so many times in this book, as Zan and Abby came together and then ripped themselves apart again. Each time they cautiously came together, my heart was in my mouth as I silently begged them to make it work then wailed as they floundered again. It was So. Real.

He shrugged. “Hey. Life’s not fair. I’ve been reflecting on that sad fact myself. All afternoon.”

She got up, standing as tall as she could. Shoulders back, chin up, tits out. She had nothing to be ashamed of. “Just go,” she said. “Leave the keys you made here. Don’t come back.”

Zan’s dominant side overwhelms Abby, but she’s no shrinking violet and kicks his ass good style, while falling helplessly in love with him. In true romance tradition, Zan recognises Abby as The One almost immediately and is torn apart when she doesn’t feel the same. Or doesn’t appear to.

The plan had been so clear before Elaine’s phone call. So simple. A light sexy game he could play while keeping his feelings armoured. They were in a parallel universe now. The events of this night had stripped his armour away and left him naked and shivering, with a big target painted on his chest.

There’s a whopping great helping of danger when Abby’s best friend is murdered and everybody else – including Zan at first – believes it was suicide.

She didn’t turn, or sense his presence. She wasn’t thinking about him. She wasn’t meeting Moneybags, either. She couldn’t care less about the whole fucking lot of them.

She was grieving for her friend.

This book got me, nailed me and pinned me down, unable to move until I’d squeezed the last words out of it. I loved it – and was thrilled to find that Shannon McKenna has written loads more! Plenty more to thrill at 🙂

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